Patricia Anne Sanco, the muse for many of us who live on, left the journey of this life to start her heavenly adventure on January 5, 2023.  Pat (as most call her) was born in Houston TX on January 14, 1935 to James and Mary Mayo. She is survived and missed by her loving husband of 70 years, Sam Sanco, and their children Cathy, Tom, Lucy, Melanie, Maureen, Melissa, Paul, Rilla, Eileen, Luke, John, and Jennifer.  She will be forever loved by her sisters Sue, Betsy, and Sally and her story will continue to live on through her 37 grandchildren and 28 great grandchildren.  ( Complete list of survivors follows. )

Pat grew up and lived almost her entire life in Northeast Oklahoma. At 16, she fell in love with her high school sweetheart Sammy and they eloped in Fort Smith, Arkansas soon after graduation. In a small chapel and with the justice of the peace presiding, they began writing what would become a story spanning seven decades of love, loss, pain, joy, children, more children, hope, disappointment, grace, peace, challenge and success, yearning and discovery, hardship and happiness, love and fulfillment.

Pat will forever be remembered as a storyteller, magician, adventurer, treasure hunter, writer, actress, alchemist, and consummate artist and musician.  She learned to play the piano when she was but 5 years old, and when a piano was not available in her childhood home, she would practice by silently playing imaginary keys on her bed sheet.  If she could hear the music in her head, her fingers always seemed to know where to go.  For 38 years, she gave this gift of music to her beloved church family at Holy Cross Catholic Church in Wagoner, OK as organist and pianist.

It seemingly was impossible for Pat to walk through life without leaving a trail of art she had painted, furniture she had transformed, beaded necklaces she strung, junk she had repurposed, and stories she wrote and told with passion.  She saw through the veil of what seemed to be life's realities, and into that magical space of "yes" where all things became possible.  When she and Sammy had more children than they had money or food to eat, she transcended that frightening reality into a game where her children became little kids lost in the woods foraging for food to eat.  Together in that magical place, she provided them the opportunity to bond together in finding sustenance to survive, but also the imagination to become.

Pat starred in theatre productions of Music Man, Fiddler on the Roof, and others in both local and Theatre Tulsa productions.  She also, however, relished taking on the minor production roles that no one else wanted because they afforded her the opportunity to free herself from her own self-imposed limitations and to step fully, boldly, and wildly into making a minor character the most loved, the most hated, the most feared character of all time.  When the curtains came down, the loudest applause was often for Pat in her ability to make the mundane and the marginal become bigger than life.  Pat often told her children, "You don't have to have the lead role to be the star of the show in life."

Pat spent a lifetime creating environments and experiences for others in which they could explore beyond their perceived limitations.   There was no room for her in the words "I can't." With her tools of ritual, play, humor, creativity, and redirection, she challenged everyone not to accept status quo simply because it was, but rather stretch to become all that God created us to be and to achieve.  And she documented those achievements in dozens of fat scrapbooks, artfully laid out and decorated as the living chronical of her family's history together.

Pat found her place of community and belonging within the Catholic Church and was deeply committed to trusting God to use her in whatever way He saw fit.  Whether playing organ, welcoming people at the door, corralling her children to participate in Mass without distracting others, or simply modeling the virtues of obedience to God and service to others, Pat found joy in sacrificing her wants and needs in the chance that she might help others to meet their own. Though confined to a chair during the last few years of her life, she believed that even in that state she could lean into the grace God was giving her and return that favor by helping others to feel encouraged, to laugh, to be seen and heard, to find faith and hope.

A few of the many things that people share as having received from Pat over the years include: "She made me who I am;" " I can now do the impossible;"  "There is a silver lining;" "We all have the gift of magic;" "What it looks like to love your family;"  "I can survive",  "I can give a second chance to others;"  "Having faith in God;" "I can have joy in the midst of suffering;" and "I can be more than what the world says."

Pat would love to be remembered with funny, warm, strange, or even silly stories that celebrate what was good and blessed in her life.  In addition, she would say, "You are one of those stories!"

Survivors

Pat is survived by her husband of 70 years, Sam Sanco, of Wagoner OK, along with their 12 children: Cathy [Davis] Carothers of Pass Christian, MS (and children Davis (Ryan) Carothers, Melody Sharp, Jeremy Carothers, Joel Carothers, and Jonathan Carothers); Tom [Rhonda] Sanco of Maryland (and children Samantha Sanco, April Sanco, Ashley Sanco, and Abigail Sanco); Lucy Terrell [Tina Willis] of Wagoner, OK (and children Nicholas Terrell and Manny Franks); Melanie Sanco [Mary] Gooch of Minneapolis, MN (and children Christian Bauhofer, Hannah Bauhofer, and Nicholas Bauhofer); Maureen [David] Morgan of Chouteau, OK (and children Derrick Morgan, Trish Lemaster, and Bethany Hernandez); Melissa [Dave] Truelock of Collinsville, OK (and children Megan Hice, Matthew Hice, Jennifer Truelock, and Rachael Truelock); Paul Sanco of Rockport, TX (and children Sarah Sherman, Noah Sanco, and Emily Stewart); Rilla [Rick] Beaudin of Dallas, TX (and children Jacob Fletcher, Savanah Lotspeich, Ricky Beaudin, and Jordan Beaudin); Eileen [Chris] Carr of Toronto, Canada (and children Nathan Carr, Timothy Carr, Heather Carr, Seth Carr, and Stephen Carr); Luke [Masami] Sanco of Yokosuka, Japan (and children Miki Sanco and Akira Sanco); John [Katie] Sanco of San Antonio, TX (and children Johnny Sanco and Jessica Sanco); and Jennifer [Jason] Carroll of Salina, TX. In addition to her 37 grandchildren, Pat leaves behind 28 great-grandchildren, as well as the spouses and partners of her children whom she loved as her own. She is also survived by three sisters: Sue Strain of Sapulpa, OK; Betsy Smith of Fort Gibson, OK; and Sally Mason of Mounds, OK.

The Mass of Christian Burial will be held at Holy Cross Catholic Church in Wagoner, Thursday, January 12 at 10 AM.
The Rosary will be at 6 PM Wednesday evening, with the Visitation following from 6:30 PM until 8 PM, both at Holy Cross Catholic Church.